The most of Us

Some days ago, while I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, which by the way is full of toxic positivity posts, puppies, and clothes, I witnessed a post by a page that supports women in the best way possible (This one!). The post was a short part of the final speech of Jacinda Ardern (former prime minister of New Zealand) in New Zealand’s parliament.

I can hardly imagine what it feels like to resign from politics in front of the whole country to watch you and a parliament full of politicians seeking a mistook step to get in front of you. But, I can easily imagine how it feels like to speak in front of a crowd of 30 people, mostly men, around 50 years old as a 28-year-old -new in the business- lady presenting something that would not matter 20 seconds later. This is what I encounter as my first-ever public speaking attempt and I can safely say that it was not smooth. As this experience was not enough, later this afternoon I heard a comment from a client at our company’s dinner, with whom I thought I had a serious conversation. He literally, said to my colleague “Look at her, when you first see her you think she is just a sweet and naive girl but she actually knows stuff” and I was standing right there shaken, probably red from my anger, listening to this man.

Here you go: This is me being uncomfortable

Did I say something to protect myself? No! Did I help myself to hold its inner peace untouched? No! Instead, I spent the whole night with my stomach sick thinking what is the first impression I give to someone in the industry. Do I look naive? Am I capable of standing in the audience? Maybe I need to be more assertive or confident. Maybe, maybe, maybe… To be honest these questions haunted me for a long time and as an original Virgo I never let them out of my system. And while they ate my energy every day the answer I was seeking came some days later when I watched this video I wrote you about.

You can watch a part of her speech here.

I will quote some of her words that sat right in my mind and I will force myself to keep an open seat in my brain for these words, always:

You can be anxious, sensitive, and kind, and wear your heart on your sleeve. You can be a mother or not, an ex-Mormon or not. A nerd, a crier, a hugger, you can be all of these things and not only can you be here, you can lead just like me.

By listening to these I revisited the place of my heart that was cold all these days from that little comment I heard that day. For quite some time I thought that the way to be unstoppable and capable was to be merely “cold”. I know that for some of you what I am about to write is not groundbreaking. But no, it should not be this way. You shall not shrink to fit in the reality of others even if this reality is the f*cking parliament. You shall not giggle at comments that make you feel uncomfortable. You shall not bury your cry because someone wants you to be strong. You shall not stop hugging others because you might be considered too sensitive. You shall not stop carrying.

For Most of Us, feeling that way is just a topic to journal about and although keeping things to yourself seems comfortable try to put yourself out there just the way you are! Evolve in the moment, take the chance, and fill the room with more of YOU. And I would like to close this tsunami of feelings by saying that Jacinda Ardern led by example and that seems to be the most effective way to lead.

P.S.₁ You can learn more about women’s empowerment here.

P.S.₂ Leaving a song as an abstract of the article is my new thing therefore feel free to enjoy the song below.